Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
