kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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