New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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