Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
