Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
