Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
