FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
