The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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