it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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