Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
