Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
