What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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