that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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