Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
