R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
