I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
