you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
