and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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