What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
