If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
