By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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