i permit you to call me
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I supernannyed him into submission
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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