i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
