Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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