the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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