do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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