a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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