Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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