so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I am full of burrito and curiosity
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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