yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
are you so shy because you have an std?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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