My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
