im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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