Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm too high and old for this...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
