you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
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There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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