i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
