I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
