Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
