wanna go halves on a baby?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
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thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
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And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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