It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
