zippers are such a cool invention
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize