Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i think my tv is drunk
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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