his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
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Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
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Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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