I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
