So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
should my penis look like a turkey
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
