did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
