i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
