Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
