I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
