Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The Olympian is in my bed
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
