I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
