omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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