i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
