Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my sisters under your porch take her home
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
