Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
