three words: i give head
three words: not that well
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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