Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My pussy is not your playground.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
