I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
