Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Randomize
