I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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