and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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