Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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