He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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